PIP-SQUEAK

"I have spread out My hands all day long to a rebellious people,
Who walk in the way which is not good, following their own thoughts,
A people who continually provoke Me to My face" Read Isaiah 65:1-3 NASB

I read that verse last week, and I can't get it out of my head. It breaks my heart and brings me to my knees. Provoke God to His face? How crazy is that? Why would a little pip-squeak (one that is small, insignificant)* like me try to stand toe to toe with Almighty God, fold my arms, shake my fist at Him and refuse to stop my ways which are not good? How dare I provoke (incite to anger, call forth, exasperate)* the One who regulates my every breath and the beat of my heart? The One who loves me so much that He has spread out His hands to me all day long!

But I do it. I do it every time I realize that what I am doing defies God and I say, "I know that what I'm doing is not pleasing to You, but (therefore, in spite of)* I am going to do it anyway."

I know that I shouldn't talk that way to my husband, but I . . . I know that it hurts Your heart when I harp at my kids, but I . . . I know that what I am doing goes against You, but I . . . But I means that I have no intention of changing my ways. I'm staying in my sin and I have lots of reasons why I'm staying here.

Lord, please help me change my response from "but I" to "so I." When You show me that I am dishonoring You, let me confess, "I know that what I'm doing is not pleasing to You, SO (for that reason, finally)* I will change my ways to ways that are good. Let Your will be my will. Father, I love You and thank You for making this pip-squeak a child of the King!

Cindy Gray
Leaning Toward Home

* definitions from Webste's New American Dictionary, copyright 1995, Merriam-Webster, Inc.